Why is there no Bigfoot opera?

Today was a banner day at the Weekly, what with the Palo Alto Bigfoot story breaking, and everyone foaming at the fingertips to hear about it. Approximately 9 quadrillion people came to our website to read about two guys claiming to have found the body of Bigfoot.

Readers were also pouring through the phone lines trying to find out more about the hairy 8-foot man, which kept receptionist Janice on her toes. They were phoning in from everywhere. I tried to ask Janice a question about something else, but had to stand in line behind a caller from Nebraska.

There are many enduring mysteries about Bigfoot. One is, “Why would two guys from Georgia decide to hold a press conference in Palo Alto?”

Another is, “Why is there no A&E angle to the Bigfoot story, therefore keeping me out of all the excitement?”

The two guys have released some blurry photos of Bigfoot. Stop the presses. Answer me this: Have you ever seen a clear photo of Bigfoot?

Or just watch this and titter.